“Remember you’re going to ceremony, whilst living in the world.”

Ceremony: late 14c., cerymonye, “a religious observance, a solemn rite”, from Old French: ceremonie and directly from Medieval Latin: ceremonia, from Latin: caerimonia “holiness; sacredness; awe; reverent rite; sacred ceremony”.

Entering ceremony a key guiding practice for walking on the “kindness path”.

In order to enter ceremony, preparation needs to be put in place. It’s not even that I am “preparing” for ceremony; I am, rather as much as I am able; trying to be in ceremony.

I begin by slowing down and clearing my mind of distractions. I try to sit with my simple being, listening for guidance. I move into the being of quietude. I change my diet and eat only simple foods. I consume less media or more accurately attempt to stop it consuming me altogether.

All of this sits me in how I show up to the ceremony. These practices help me show up more open to receive, giving me more clarity and connection to more sources for open awareness. More cleared and ready to listen. More capable of holding space for myself and others. More certain of my interrelationships with the world; with an enhanced acceptance in whatever may arise.

I also try to arrive in the ceremony rested. For if I am not rested I lose my ability to listen to the subtle voice of the Dao, of emergence, of the universe’s feedback systems guiding me through the subtleties of being in ceremony.

So how do we learn to slow down before actions?

As Bayo Akomolafe astutely points out “the times are urgent, we must slow down.” – Bayo Akomolafe

Slowing down as I have learnt through decades of Taijiquan practice is not necessarily a function of speed. It is a function of deepening our awakeness.

The wisdom of slowing down is not about ignoring our responsibilities, or supporting our daily ‘being here.’

It is asking again and again Mary Oliver’s question:

‘How do we love this world?”

How are we living our lives?

Who am I becoming? Have I been outside today? Have I noticed the temperature of the air as it gently caresses my skin? Have I asked someone – truly asked them – how they are doing, and deeply listened? Have I been asked “how you are doing today?” Have I taken the time to ask myself?

How do we live everyday of our lives as if we are in ceremony? Do I, can I live my life in the beauty of ceremony?

Perhaps my own mentor in this regard is a recent ancestor; Thích Nhất Hạnh, who brought his ceremony to the meditation cushion, to daily walks, to cleaning; reminding me that every action is an opportunity for us to slow down and be in ceremony.

In this way; we can respond to the moment in a way that transforms the energy of anything that arises in the terrain of greeting, rather than overcoming.

Preparing to Act

When we are sitting in silence or standing preparing for movement we are able to bring in the sacred. We can become awake to healing, grounding, connection, calm, rest and restoration. And out of that restored place we can act.

The things we do immediately before heading into an action truly impacts the energetic field we are able to create. There are some questions we can reflect upon:

What is the purpose of my action?

To what or to whom do I gift my action?

“With body, speech and mind in perfect oneness…..” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Engaging in Ceremony

In this way; engaging in action is engaging in ceremony. Care is where the attention resides, and what we pay attention to gives it the ability to grow.

What happens when we orient our attention toward life?

We notice birds crossing the sky. A flower flourishing; growing between cracks in the pavement. We may be grounded enough to look into the eyes of those we may find ourselves ‘othering’ and notice that they too, are human – their breath, their shape, the thread of life you share. We may see – not by absolving harm, nor erasing power dynamics – see with abundant clarity that life is everywhere. And no matter where you look, life can’t help but be beautiful.

Noticing beauty slows down our nervous system, allows the vagus nerve to wander in peace; which widens our capacity for presence, creativity, humour, visioning and awareness of the wonder of it all.

I have spent a lifetime habituated toward effort, toward striving, toward “making something happen.” But wuwei (action in no action) is an invitation to feel for where the current is already moving and to join it without gripping on to it. It asks us to soften the parts of our bodies that are braced for impact (sung). To notice if the way we are taking part in our lives, the way we are engaging is actually constricting or allowing flow.

The word movement implies fluidity, like the movement of a river. Yet so often in movement spaces, I feel and sense only tension – often tightness so dense that nothing can move.

Resistance that becomes contraction. As the Dao De Jing teaches: water carves rock not by force, but by persistence, adaptability, and unhurried presence.

Healthy Yang in Service of Yin

This awakened, grounded, spacious, attentive action is not the abandonment of yang, nor does it imply a lack of yang energy. It is not softness without boundaries, nor vulnerability without Warriorship. Healthy yang is essential to creating a balanced world.

But in a culture where hyper-yang dominates – speed, aggression, domination, certainty – our movements often mirror the very energies we oppose. Spiritual Warriorship Vulnerability asks:
What does it look like to lead with yin?—receptivity, spaciousness, slowness, relationality—while allowing healthy yang to stand at its side in support?

I have of late been thinking a lot about my life and of the many examples where in relating to someone; often a family member or good friend with whom I disagree and then want convey my truth.

Communicating my truth might go something like this; the first “truth” that comes to mind is the truth that their understanding is wrong and my understanding is true. I am ’Certain’ of my truth.

And, I can remember the conversations that often gushed forth out of that expression of my truth. An expression of truth driven by my hyper yang energies of certainty (I know my truth is right), domination (I am going to convince you that you are wrong) and separation (If you don’t see my way, there is nothing for us to discuss).

So I ask myself, is there a deeper, more vulnerable truth that I can express? And of course there is.

That truth may sound something like:

“I miss you. I grieve the relationship we no longer have. How can we together heal this?”

That truth takes much more emotional preparation on my part. It takes ceremony. Ceremony provides a more intimate truth, one more capable of opening up rather than shutting down. A truth infused with yin energies of connection, invitation and an acceptance of mystery.

Yang energy is still present. This is a conversation that will still require courage and a commitment to heal the existing boundaries. A truth where yin and yang are in harmony. Warrior Vulnerability is this open hearted dance of Wuwei.

Listening for Wisdom

During the Vietnam War, an American activist called A.J. Muste stood in front of the White House with a candle night after night. A reporter once asked him:

“Do you really think you’ll change the policies of this country by standing here alone?”

To which Muste replied:

“Oh, I don’t do this to change the country. I do this so the country won’t change me.”

A fully attentive action brings with it the possibility of deepening one’s capacity to love, to listen, to be courageous, to be soft, to be more deeply human(e).

Bringing with it; the truth that we cannot control other people – the question being of course: why might we want too? We cannot control the outcomes of our actions. We are not in control, but we can prepare the terrain in which are acting out our lives.

We can choose the quality of presence we bring, and we can choose who we become through the quality of our ceremony, not by asking: Is it effective? – the measuring habit; but by feeling how my actions vibrate in my mind, body and heart centres.

Our actions have the power to cultivate these fields of energy. And fields of energy have impact beyond what we can measure. Some actions, may inadvertently create frustration, fear, or confusion. Others generate connection, curiosity, or tenderness—even if the behaviour looks similar on the outside.

The difference is not in the action, but in the care, attention, and the preparation of the field. The Dao, the Divine, the path on which we step and how we step upon it is feedback—through our bodies, our relationships, our dreams, and the way the action stays with us days later.

With actions as ceremony, every action becomes a wise mentor. Every action becomes a practice. Every action becomes part of our transformation. And if we listen in ceremony, the Dao will guide our next step.

Little Heading January 2026

I’ve never gotten used to getting used to things

Taking for granted what’s been granted

I see the waves outside my window

I’m astonished by the greater miracle

Is it the waves or me

Or the seeing

Or the astonishment

Who knows

I don’t

💕